every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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