I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
