After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
