is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
