even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
