i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
