UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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