Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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