I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
