things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
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Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
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Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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