she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
