she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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