she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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