Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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