the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
