Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
