So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
