There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
There are leaves in my underwear?
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