it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
