never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
