Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
