Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
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You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
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The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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