Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
