When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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