My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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