You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Is Oprah even human
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
