Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
