then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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