The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He has the fingertips of a God
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