how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
