i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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