i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
