yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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