Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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