Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
