All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
How external is "for external use only"?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
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