He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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