Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
