first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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