Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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