He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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