Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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