Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Just puked most of my soul out..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
