Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
