Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize