there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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