I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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