NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Randomize