he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize