hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
