I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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