i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
