He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
