Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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