My brain says no but my pants say off.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
