I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
