I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize