But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
soo... how was my night?
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