butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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