oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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