Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
